On divinity

QOTW, in the third part of a dire question trinity (though I liked all the cock stories last week), asks you dirty sinners for your tales of G*d.

Let's get this straight: there is no god.

Let us consider the evidence. If there was a god, I'd be amply rewarded for my services to mankind. I'd be cavorting naked with the bloke of my dreams on a bed of money while cherabim and seraphim fed me grapes and played a little light lute music. Instead I have a hangover and didn't get more than some leg fondling (mid-thigh) last night. This huge amount of compelling and incontrovertible evidence means it's SCIENCE and I have thus proved that god does not exist. FACT.

Hope lies in me, your new friggin' Messiah. When I'm done saving your miserable souls I'll get cracking on global warming. Oh yes, and thou shalt not have any false gods before me. Enzyme is a Saint, not a deity, and he's going to find himself decanonised sharpish if he pretends otherwise.